We all have mental health, just like we have physical health. Mental health includes how we feel, think and behave, and like our physical health, it's not a fixed state, we can experience mental health and ill-health.
Good mental health can manifest in different ways in all of us. But here are some common signs to look out for in yourself and others when things aren't quite right: not acting as usual, a loss of interest in the things that used to bring enjoyment, talking about feelings of hopelessness, being more reckless, or isolating from family and friends.
When we suspect that something isn't right the most courageous thing we can do for ourselves and others is to talk. It can feel uncomfortable, awkward even, we understand, we've written a whole book on it.
In the book are two invaluable guides to having conversations about mental health and we want to share those with you now.
But if you sense that someone is in crisis and they need urgent help call 999 or Samaritans for free, anytime on 116 123.
'SENSE' is a handy guide to help you reach out to support someone else. Remember that having a conversation with someone could make all the difference. Here are some great converation starters if you need ideas for things to say.
Safety.Create a sense of psychological safety. Give the other person options for when and how to meet so they feel in control. Ensure you both have time for a proper chat. Let them know you care. Give space for the other person to talk. Sitting on an angle or side by side can feel subconsciously more safe than being directly opposite. Walking is a good alternative.
Empathy. Really listen and acknowledge the other person's experience. Sitting 'with' another person's challenges without trying to fix them is one of the most powerful and connecting things you can do. Don’t feel like you have to have a response or suggestion for everything they say. Sincere nods, mmms, and yeses can be really helpful ways to show you’re listening and taking them in fully.
Non-judgment. As best you can try to understand the other person's experience, without judgement. You may not accept what they say and need to park your own views.
Support. Let them know they are not alone. Ask if there is anything they think might help. You may offer up your own ideas but resist the urge to tell them what to do, or fix them. Let them know that you are there for them.
Encouragement. Encourage them to speak to their doctor or reach out for other professional support. Here is a helpful list of organisations. You could signpost them to the one that feels most relevant.
This is a guide rather than a rigid set of rules, so adapt it for your situation. For more guidance take a look at Mind's resources.
This is a handy guide for taking the first steps in asking for help for yourself. It's not called BRAVE for nothing, talking about our mental health can feel really big and scary. But talking and reaching out is incredibly important and the first step to making things better.
Be aware... of how you are feeling and coping with life. Notice how you are reacting and behaving. Does it feel okay, good or helpful? Or is it difficult, unhelpful or painful even? Be honest with yourself.
Remember... you are not alone. We all experience the ups and downs of life. Find ways to remind yourself that having mental health struggles is common and that no one should be alone with those thoughts. Acknowledging this is an important step towards asking for help.
Asking for help... from someone you trust (or your GP or a helpline like these). Opening up about your feelings is an important step to getting help and feeling better. Persevere if the first person or conversation doesn't go the way you'd like. Try someone else till you get the support you need.
Value yourself.. you are not a burden. You don't have to be alone in this. Try to value yourself in the same way that you value the people you care about.
Explore what helps... we are all different. Much of mental health support and treatment is about chemistry, relationships and even time. Think of it as an exploration, discover your own route to recovery.